What we can do to fight stigma and help those who are mentally ill

My below are my own thoughts and suggestions on how we can help fight stigma and to better reach out to those who are mentally ill or grieving.


1) The first and foremost is to understand and educate ourselves on what mental illness is about. What it means to those who go through mental illness.
That however as I mentioned in my previous posts isn't enough.

2) Reach out to those going through mental illness. Don't judge. Learn what it means to truly listen and empathise. Offer them the gift of your listening and understanding. Don't try to fix them or offer advice. Simply listen to them and understand.

Practice makes perfect.

"The way of being with another person which is termed empathic means temporarily living in their life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments.... To be with another in this way means that for the time being you lay aside the views and values you hold for yourself in order to enter the other's world without prejudice...a complex, demanding, strong, yet subtle and gentle way of being."
Carl Rogers

3) Learn what it means to truly listen. Practise how to listen.

Reassuring someone isn't the same as listening.

4) With every opportunity possible, do what we can to help speak out against the stigma against mental illness sufferers. Many mental illness sufferers are afraid to voice out their condition, you'll be surprised who may admit to you they are going through such a condition or know of someone close to them who does if you speak out and show acceptance for them.

5) Naturally, don't join in the bandwagon on calling mental illness sufferers as "siao", "psycho" or "crazy." It's rude, discriminating, insensitive and downright unkind.

Don't call those people who self-harm as attention seeking. Most people don't realise that self-mutilation for instance may be the person's way of coping, however dysfunctional others may see it.

And don't call those people who are considering, or attempted or commited suicide as "cowards."
Don't judge.

The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid. ~Author Unknown

6) Have faith in them. Believe in them. Help them and help yourself understand that it is going to take time for them to recover, but they will (recover). Whatever they're going through, "It will pass in time." The important thing is, you must believe it yourself in your belief in them

"Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were and what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

7) When they are slow in their recovery or in their signs of progress, or those who are grieving be patient with them. Don't rush them. Don't try to set datelines in saying/thinking that they have grieve/depressed enough. Let them move at their own pace.

Any frustration at their lack of progress stems from our own impatience. Work on our impatience instead and learn to be patient. Be patient with ourselves and be patient with them. Encourage them, don't give up on them.

"Patience makes lighter what sorrow may not heal." - Horace

8) There is a stigma against the male gender on that men shouldn't cry. If people are in pain and they wish to cry, let them, don't deny them that, male or female. The ability to cry is part of what makes us human

"But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer." - Victor E. Franklin

9) Don't say things like "they shouldn't feel this way."
Acknowledge their feelings. Do not invalidate their feelings.

Feelings are facts to the person experiencing them.

10) Don't give up. We are human beings, flawed in our own ways. We may make mistakes everyday in our effort to combat stigma or in reaching out to others. What matters is that we continue to learn from the mistakes we make.

Understanding and the art of listening can be learnt and acquired.

With every mistake, humility can be acquired. And with humility, the better understanding and empathy we can extend to others.

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle - Plato